Application for dating my daughter joke

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If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process than can take longer than painting the Sydney Harbour Bridge .Cricket games are okay, Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi .

Rule Four: I'm sure you've been told that in today's world sex without utilizing a 'Barrier method' of some kind can kill you.

(IF YOU ANSWERED 'YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATIONAND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY.

Do you have an earring, nose ring, __Yes __No pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?

Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots.

Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object.

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