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We're all flawed and motivated by self-preservation, so I am trying to be patient and understanding.
After all, back in the early days of my grandparents' marriage, my grandmother nearly left her husband for his drinking. He aged and matured into a wonderful and humble man whom I admire for his warmth, humor, grace.
When do we need to protect ourselves with deal breakers, and when do we find the strength to be forgiving without them?
Let's Make a Deal Dear Let's Make a Deal, Great question.
He's lied about the state of his bank account, preferring to overdraft instead of taking initiative and asking me for help on rent that month.
In one spectacular display of inertia, he didn't tell me when a married female friend of his developed feelings for him and sent him a love letter, instead continuing the friendship with her as if nothing had happened and letting me stumble across the letter where he left it, stuffed "out of sight, out of mind" in a junk drawer.
He's a people-pleaser and afraid of being judged.
He lied about having unprotected sex in a past relationship (he's ashamed of a reckless teenage decision).
What I DO want is for him to trust I will accept his flaws ...
but it's getting harder and harder to believe he can do this.
On the top of this list are always: no cheating, no abuse, no dishonesty. But never telling your spouse that no, their nose hairs aren't too noticeable?
I find this idea to be completely unrealistic and wonder if smug couples who claim to be always 100-percent honest with each other are in fact lying to themselves.